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I'm fairly sure that Kiwi of Craft Boner may be a mind reader. There have been too many times that I find myself at CVS looking for the perfect snarky card, or fun little trinket and have come up empty handed. In 2012, she was tired of the same ole' boring Hallmark cards and resolved to make something sarcastic, and fun for those with an actual sense of humor.  Since then she's expanded the brand by creating wall art, flair, and drinkware. Thank God for all of this because I would haven't my favorite keychain or coffee mug without Craft Boner

Q: First things first, let’s get the basics. Where are you from? Zodiac sign? The least favorite hairstyle you’ve had?

I was born in New Zealand, raised in the mountains of Colorado and lived in a whole bunch of places after that before settling back down in Denver.

I’m a Gemini, and I’m totally the person who nerds out about horoscopes and tarot cards and all of that kind of thing even though I don’t put too much stock in it. But, really, what a Gemini answer to that question, amiright?

The worst hairstyle I ever had was when I was about 2 or 3, and my mom gave me a baby mullet - I’m sure I didn’t realize it at the time but looking back, man, it’s truly terrible.

Q: How do you prefer to read? A hardcover book on your lap, audiobook or reading with a tablet?

God, I wish I had more time to read! But, ideally, I’m reading a paperback in a hammock on a deck somewhere with a thunderstorm in the background. In reality, it’s more like a paperback hastily thrown in my bag that I can read a few pages of here or there when I’m out and about. It’s nearly always paperback, though. I like the idea of audiobooks and e-books, but they tend to make me a bit sleepy. And hardcover books are way too frou-frou for my tastes.

Q: One thing you can’t live without.

Cheeseburgers! Stuff to draw with! Dry shampoo! Wi-fi!

OK, the list could go on forever but in reality, I’m pretty good at adapting to different situations. Unless I don’t have my phone - then I’d be like a lost puppy. So, yeah, my phone is the most realistic answer.

Q: Last thing you binge-watched on Netflix.

The last thing I binge-watched was every damn episode of the ten seasons of Bones. My current binge is Supernatural. They’re both terrible/amazing but exactly what I need as background noise because you never need to pay that much attention to them to get the general idea. The last show I binged and paid attention to is Stranger Things because it’s literally mesmerizing and I really wanted to soak in every single second (though I’ve watched it twice more since then).

Q: What’s the one piece of advice for anyone wanting to build their own brand you wish you were told in the beginning?

Fuck up a lot!

OK, maybe not a lot, but when I first started out I took forever to actually dive in because I thought everything had to be perfect in order for me to put it out into the world. Now I try things, and I either fuck up, or I don’t, and then I go from there. I never, ever totally know what I’m doing, and I’ve come to realize that nearly all of my mistakes actually made me a stronger business owner. The other biggie I’d tell people is that they should be prepared to be the most patient they’ve ever been in their entire lives. People think that if you make something awesome, then you’re going to become an overnight success - it just doesn’t happen like that. The people who are the huge “successes” (and I put that in air quotes because success is different for everyone) are the people who have been busting their ass for months or years or however long without any accolades or recognition because they truly believe in what they’re doing, and they’re too stubborn to quit. Nobody makes it happen all at once so if you really, really want it you’ll stick with it. And if not you’ll quit and move onto something else. Either way is fine - just know that there isn’t just one path out there.

Q: Every business owner has that moment that gives them the warm and fuzzies and completely reminds them what their purpose is. What was yours?

Oh man, I get that moment a bunch when I get to make people laugh when they see my stuff IRL! But I guess one of the times was when a guy used one of my cards as part of his proposal for his girlfriend - that nearly made my heart burst.

Q: Favorite Movie? Food? Curse word? 90’s Jam?

“To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Love Julie Newmar” - I can literally quote the entire movie. Curse words are in constant flux but my favorite at the moment is asshat. I don’t know if I can pick just one 90s jam - I’m pretty much blasting Spice Girls Pandora for 90% of every day. 

Q: If you could bring back one canceled TV show back to the air waves, what would it be?

Again, I don’t think I can pick one! Freaks and Geeks if I had a time machine and could just blackmail the studio into not canceling it in the first place so everyone would still be the same age. Otherwise maybe Firefly, Wonderfalls or Dead Like Me, but I feel like if they were resurrected now, they wouldn’t be nearly as good as they were.

Q: Would you say you are more of a Broad or a Jones?

Definitely Jones. I will rock florals and pastel until the day I die.

Q: Let’s say it’s the end of civilization as we know it, and you know you’re going to be stranded on an island for the rest of your life. What three albums would you bring with you?

Man, I don’t even get to take a Spotify playlist - that’s rough. Uhhhhh, I’m not great at knowing albums inside and out (which is a constant disappointment to my boyfriend), but I’d probs bring some Beatles, some Dolly Parton, and some Steve Miller Band.

Q: What was the one character trait about yourself that was the hardest, but most empowering to embrace?

Being an extreme weirdo. When I was younger (like, seriously up until college) I used to mind every single thing that came out of my mouth because I wanted nothing more than to fit in and be seen as normal. I’m not totally sure when it clicked that being a freak is way more fun, but there’s been no turning back since. I’ve abandoned doing/saying/being things that are conventional just so I can be conventional. I do the things that my weirdo little heart desires and it very rarely steers me wrong. I also realized that by being true to myself and my personality that I’ve attracted the very best gang of weirdos into my life, and that’s truly fucking incredible when it happens because I know that they love me because all of my quirks and faults and not in spite of them. Now I let my freak flag fly high because I know that there are way better things to spend energy on than censoring myself.

August 26, 2016 by Jessica Evans

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